I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
