Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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