Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
