she looked like the bat from fern gully.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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