Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
