Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
