i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No subtext here. People are naked.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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