'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
