clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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