The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
