Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
