Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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