I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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