my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
