Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
