Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I stole a fireplace last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
