I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
