Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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