just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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