The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
