just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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