Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
