so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My pussy is not your playground.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
