that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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