i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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