I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
