What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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