doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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