I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
