Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
