so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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