Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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