Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
