That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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