and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
