I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
