dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
