Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
