I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize