How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
