uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize