i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
