idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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