dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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