I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Boobs are out for the taking
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
