dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
