I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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