his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
