he puts the penis in happiness.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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