Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize