dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
