ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
