You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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