She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
