they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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