I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
