Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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