nutella sex= disaster
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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