he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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