I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
