What did we do last night that was yellow?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
