When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Of course I have a pirate flag
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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